How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a second year subject.
How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
“Will this question be in the final examination?”
How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.
How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
“Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.”
How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable – but functional – hand grip, and one to use all this equipment.
How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years
S.No | Title | District | Diploma Trade |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Amrapali Institute of Technology & Sciences | Nainital |
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2 | B. S. Negi Mahila Pravidhik Prashikshan Sansthan | Dehradun |
|
3 | Balwant Singh Mukhiya(Bsm) College of Polytechnic | Haridwar |
|
4 | Bhagirathi Institute of Technology & Management College (Polytechnic) | Champawat |
|
5 | Bishamber Sahai Diploma Engineering College | Haridwar |
|
6 | Blue Mountains Group of Colleges | Dehradun |
|
7 | College of Advanced Technology | Haridwar |
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8 | Dev Bhoomi Institute of Polytechnic | Dehradun |
|
9 | Dev Bhoomi Institute of Technology | Dehradun |
|
10 | Electronics Service & Training Centre | Nainital |
|
11 | G.P. New Tehri | Tehri Garhwal |
|
12 | G.P.Kotabagh(Nainital) | Nainital |
|
13 | Get Group of Institution - Faculty of Technology | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
14 | Goverment Polytechnic Aamwala | Dehradun |
|
15 | Government Polytechnic (Okhallkhal) Pratapnagar | Tehri Garhwal |
|
16 | Government Polytechnic Bachelikhal | Tehri Garhwal | |
17 | Government Polytechnic Bans | Pithoragarh |
|
18 | Government Polytechnic Baram | Pithoragarh |
|
19 | Government Polytechnic Bash Bagarh | Pithoragarh |
|
20 | Government Polytechnic Bazpur | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
21 | Government Polytechnic Berinag | Pithoragarh |
|
22 | Government Polytechnic Bhimtal | Nainital |
|
23 | Government Polytechnic Champawat | Champawat |
|
24 | Government Polytechnic Chaunaliya (Almora) | Almora |
|
25 | Government Polytechnic Chopta | Rudraprayag |
|
26 | Government Polytechnic Danya, Almora | Almora | |
27 | Government Polytechnic Dehradun | Dehradun |
|
28 | Government Polytechnic Didihat | Pithoragarh |
|
29 | Government Polytechnic Garur(Bageshwar) | Bageshwar |
|
30 | Government Polytechnic Gauchar | Chamoli |
|
31 | Government Polytechnic Haridwar Sidcul | Haridwar |
|
32 | Government Polytechnic Jakhanidhar | Tehri Garhwal |
|
33 | Government Polytechnic Jakholi | Rudraprayag |
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34 | Government Polytechnic Joshimath | Chamoli |
|
35 | Government Polytechnic Kaladhungi | Nainital |
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36 | Government Polytechnic Kanalichhina | Pithoragarh |
|
37 | Government Polytechnic Kandikhal Tehri Garhwal | Tehri Garhwal |
|
38 | Government Polytechnic Kapkot | Bageshwar |
|
39 | Government Polytechnic Kashipur | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
40 | Government Polytechnic Kotdwar | Pauri Garhwal |
|
41 | Government Polytechnic Kulsari | Chamoli |
|
42 | Government Polytechnic Lohaghat | Champawat |
|
43 | Government Polytechnic Malla Salam (Almora) | Almora |
|
44 | Government Polytechnic Munakot | Pithoragarh |
|
45 | Government Polytechnic Nainital | Nainital |
|
46 | Government Polytechnic Narendra Nagar | Tehri Garhwal |
|
47 | Government Polytechnic Pabau | Pauri Garhwal |
|
48 | Government Polytechnic Pauri | Pauri Garhwal |
|
49 | Government Polytechnic Peerumadara Ramnagar( Nainital) | Nainital |
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50 | Government Polytechnic Pipli | Uttarkashi |
|
51 | Government Polytechnic Pokhari | Chamoli |
|
52 | Government Polytechnic Rudraprayag | Rudraprayag |
|
53 | Government Polytechnic Sahiya | Dehradun |
|
54 | Government Polytechnic Shaktifarm | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
55 | Government Polytechnic Srinagar (Garhwal) | Pauri Garhwal |
|
56 | Government Polytechnic Tanakpur | Champawat |
|
57 | Government Polytechnic Vikasnagar | Dehradun |
|
58 | Government Polytechnic, Hindolakhal | Tehri Garhwal |
|
59 | Government Polytechnic, Pantnagar | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
60 | Government Polytechnic, Uttarkashi | Uttarkashi |
|
61 | Government Rural Polytechnic Thalnadi | Pauri Garhwal |
|
62 | Governmet Polytechnic Barechhena | Almora |
|
63 | Govt Polytechnic Gairsain | Chamoli |
|
64 | Govt Polytechnic Gaja | Tehri Garhwal |
|
65 | Govt Polytechnic Kanda | Bageshwar | |
66 | Govt Polytechnic Khatima | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
67 | Govt. Girl's Polytechnic Dehradun | Dehradun |
|
68 | Govt. Girls Polytechnic Almora | Almora |
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69 | Govt. Girls' Polytechnic, Jainti | Almora |
|
70 | Govt. Polytechnic Ganai Gangoli | Pithoragarh |
|
71 | Govt. Polytechnic Garhi Shyampur | Dehradun |
|
72 | Govt. Polytechnic Gopeshwar Chamoli | Chamoli |
|
73 | Govt. Polytechnic Quansi Chakrata Dehradun | Dehradun |
|
74 | Govt. Polytechnic Satpuli | Pauri Garhwal |
|
75 | Govternment Polytechnic Chinyalisaur | Uttarkashi |
|
76 | Grd Polytechnic Dehradun | Dehradun | |
77 | Harishchandra Government Polytechnic Bhalswagaj Haridwar | Haridwar |
|
78 | Institute of Professional Studies | Haridwar |
|
79 | J B Institute of Technology | Dehradun |
|
80 | Jaswant Singh Rawat Government Polytechnic Bironkhal | Pauri Garhwal |
|
81 | K.L. Polytechnic | Haridwar |
|
82 | Late Genral Bipin Chandra Joshi Government Rural Polytechnic Takula | Almora |
|
83 | Modern Institute of Technology | Tehri Garhwal |
|
84 | Om Institute of Technology | Haridwar |
|
85 | Phonics Group of Institutions | Haridwar |
|
86 | Roorkee College of Polytechnic Roorkee. | Haridwar |
|
87 | Roorkee Institute of Technology | Haridwar |
|
88 | Rudrapur Institute of Technology | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
89 | S.S.S.S.S.P.U. Government Polytechnic | Almora |
|
90 | Satyanand Dimri Government Polytechnic | Uttarkashi |
|
91 | Shakambhari Institute of Higher Education & Technology | Haridwar |
|
92 | Six Sigma Institute of Technology & Science | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
93 | Sri Sai Institute of Technology | Udham Singh Nagar |
|
94 | Swami Darshnananda Institute of Management & Technology Polytechnic | Haridwar |
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95 | Swatantrata Sangram Senani Swargiya Ram Singh Bisht Goverment Polytechnic Dwarahat, A Lmora | Almora |
|
96 | Tulas Institute | Dehradun |
|
97 | Uttarakhand Institute of Technical & Professional Education | Nainital |
|
98 | Uttaratech Polytechnic | Haridwar |