10 Jokes Only Engineers Will Understand. Who Says Engineers DonтАЩt Have A Sense Of Humor?
1. Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.┬а
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.┬а
2. To the optimist, the glass is half-full.┬а
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.┬а
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.┬а
3. A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"┬а
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"┬а
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."┬а
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"┬а
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."┬а
The group fell silent for a moment.┬а
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."┬а
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."┬а
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"┬а
4. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?┬а
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.┬а
5. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"┬а
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"┬а
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"┬а
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"┬а
6. Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.┬а
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."┬а
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."┬а
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"┬а
7. Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting coefficient of friction. Interrupting coefficient of fri.... mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu (╬╝)
8. Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"┬а
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."┬а
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."┬а
9. An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.┬а
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."┬а
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.┬а
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"┬а
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
10. A wife asks her husband, a software engineer...
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."